Friday, October 29, 2010

Newton Messed Up: Where I explain the origin of the Banksian Sphere

I'm sure many of you have been wondering, what exactly is the Banksian Sphere (BS), even though only one person has actually expressed this concern to me. It's a difficult concept to grasp, but I'll attempt to explain it to you. You won't find a Wikipedia article about it at this moment in time because it's still in the preliminary research phase.

Most people will look at the BS and say, "That just looks like a ball of yarn." To that I would respond by saying that it does, in fact, look like a ball of yarn but is quite different. You see, most balls of yarn are composed entirely of yarn. The BS is actually hollow and at first glance appears to have nothing holding its spherical shape. This unknown force is the essence of my research on the Banksian Sphere.

The BS is an attempt to describe the universe in a way that is not confined by today's conventional sciences. The lines represent everything we currently know about the universe and the empty space inside represents everything we don't know. Consequently, it demonstrates that we only understand certain points in the laws of the universe. We can only move from one point to the next in small steps.

I claim that modern sciences restrict our knowledge of the universe. Our simple ways of thinking about ideas limits us to this radius. There's not way to move out or move in using the theoretical models we base physics on. Some new way of thinking is essential for fully comprehending the universe.

Way back when, people spent their brain power searching for food to feed their families. Little effort was focussed on innovation or creative thinking. Stories were passed from generation to generation about how the universe was created and nobody questioned them. The universe was the way it was and nobody cared about knowing more. This would be the first point on the BS.

Some day some young man realized that if he worked really hard at building something he could be lazy. This was done in the invention of the wheel. We see this kind of thinking all the time today with our "Engineers," who frequently will put forward their utmost effort so that they can sit back and let some machine do the job. This is such a wonderful way of living, nobody ever questioned it. It allowed us to BS our way around the BS. What's wrong with this? It allowed us to discover the entire surface of the BS. Well not the entire surface, but a lot of it. Current scientific research is discovering more and more of this surface.

There are many of us physicists who are trained to think in the "Work-to-be-Lazy" mindset. In fact, we are all this way, just like the "Engineers." While we are all trained in this mindset, we are all very lazy people. This leads us to the following question: Why can't I be lazy and still discover things?

I've been thinking about this question since I started hating school, which happened 1 month into grad school (good timing eh?). This new way of thinking could be the key to discovering the interior (or exterior) of the Banksian Sphere. The key to this mindset is to be as lazy as possible and wait for ideas to come to you.

Newton came so close to this realization. He was just being lazy one day, sitting under an apple tree, likely eating a bowl of Moose Track ice cream, and he was hit on the head with an apple, giving him the idea of gravity. Unfortunately, he didn't realize that the actual act of being lazy was the key to truly understanding the universe. Sadly, he thought it was just a coincidence and developed Calculus and all that gravity stuff that is just another demonstration of the Work-to-be-Lazy mindset.

I'll conclude with an invitation to join me in my research. I need some bright students who are willing to be lazy for the sake of a more thorough knowledge of the universe. Will you join me? Will you make the sacrifice? All I ask is that you abandon everything you own and every way of thinking you've ever adopted. We'll live in an experimental community perfectly designed for the lazy accumulation of knowledge. This will only be the first method of thought that we will experiment. After all, each mindset only covers one layer of an infinitely large onion of knowledge. If you're smart and creative enough, I'll give you admission to this community for a low price of $1,000 per month. You won't regret it.


  1. Hey Jon, Colossians 1:17 says, " He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." I guess that's what holds your Banksian Sphere together. How's that for lazy research?

  2. Bingo. Great lazy research, Dad. You can be the first person to join my community of lazy researchers.