A Photo Tour of The Medical Marijuana Shops of Denver

If you've ever seen a medical marijuana shop (MMS), then you know how much of a joke they are. First, a very small percentage of people in the world need marijuana for relieving pain. It's just a gateway to get pot to a point where it's as acceptable as alcohol. Go to the doctor, say your shoulder hurts, and obtain a MM license. Well my favorite thing about these shops is their names and designs. So I had the idea of posting pictures of the MMSs in my neighborhood so you have an idea of what they are like. I think they're incredibly entertaining.

I was really proud of myself for riding 20 miles earlier today, but I really wanted to take these pictures today, so I left my house to cruise up and down Federal, looking for MMSs. I was happy to discover one right across the street when I got to federal.

The green lights surrounding the door was a dead give-away. Lesson #1: MMSs almost always have green colors on the building. Some choose to be entirely painted green and others prefer the more subtle green lighting around the doors. This MMS also demonstrates the clever titles of MMSs. I thought Earth's Medicine was an incredible name for this weed shop. This is one of the less glamorous places though and I knew there was more to see, so I continued south down Federal.

I found this one just down the street called Buds on Federal. If you click on the picture you can see this one better. It's one of my favorite designs. Painted very bright green with intriguing signage. They apparently sell marijuana plants that you can grow at home. And I assume they have a very attractive blonde inside selling them to you.

Here's another Bud shop with a subtle design with a subtle title of Healing Buds. They make sure to include the iconic Green Cross though. Upon close examination, you can see that you can buy Barbacoa de Cabeza tacos next door, which, in this case, is cow head.

and another one called Sense of Healing. Very subtle title and building design. I thought the logo was especially clever.

Another, by the title of Remedys of the Millenium Wellness Center. They apparently thought that correctly spelling Remedies was either not conspicuous enough or that the incorrect spelling was phat. This place has a good deal going for 1/8 ounce for only $30...A "SALE" that has been going on since I moved to the neighborhood on August 1st. They definitely went for the "Hey look at me! I sell pot!" building design with the green paint job.

A Mile High Alternative is unfortunately "Closed until further notice" as indicated by the sign handwritten on the front door. I was happy that they included their stylish bright green fences in front of their windows even though they are closed. They win the award for most creative title.

Most shops choose to use acronyms like MMJ (medical marijuana), but this one, entitled VIP Wellness Center, chose to be more up front about their product. I didn't actually verify whether or not they have the "Best Quality" or "Lowest Prices."

This last one was my all time favorite one though. I had never seen it before because it's kind of hidden underneath an attorney's billboard. Riding my bike along the opposite side of the street I noticed it and had a sneaky suspicion about it. It had the green paint all over it and some mysterious logo on the front. As you can verify with this first picture, I couldn't see the company name, but I had a very good feeling that it was an MMS.

Well on my way home, I rode on the other side of the road. I made sure I looked for the big billboard and found the place. Upon closer examination I saw this:

You may have to click on the picture, but you can see that the place is called Green Door Wellness Center, which is certainly an MMS name. I thought this place looked cooler than all the other places and I was just so happy that I knew it was an MMS without actually seeing its title. I did verify their claim to have a Green Door. It was on the left side of the building. I kept looking at the title, though, and it kept looking like it said Green Odor, which I thought would have been epic, but they went for a slightly less potent company name.

So, there you have it. A photo tour of a the 8 medical marijuana shops on a 2.5 mile stretch, so I'm proud to say that I extended my biking distance to 25 miles and the last 5 miles was for the sake of this blog post. While these places don't look incredibly nice, they also aren't that bad either. They look slightly sketchy, but in my opinion they are way better than behind a 7-Eleven from a drug dealer with a pistol in his pants. Plus, what is more entertaining than a place called A Mile High Alternative?

P.S. I don't smoke pot. I just think these places are highly entertaining.

Also, comment your favorite MMJ shop names so we can all laugh at them.