Thursday, November 26, 2009

Getting Hit by a Car...last year

I was reading through some documents that I wrote in the past and I came across this one that I wrote on October 21, 2008. I thought it was an interesting read so here it is:

It is a humbling experience when you get run into by a car while you are riding a scooter. Last night I was coming home from writing a paper at school and I ran right through a stop sign without slowing down. I saw a car coming from the left and the only thing I was thinking was, I hope I can get across the street before that car, because it as too late to stop. Typically I will slow down for that stop sign but not stop. This time I wanted to just fly through it because the next section is really fun if you go fast. I even thought that I could hear a car but thought that it couldn’t be because I didn’t see the light from the headlights.

Time seemed to slow down as soon as I saw that car coming towards me. I have heard that in stressful times, your brain will go at faster rate, making it seem like everything is going slower.

It was soo stupid of me to do that. I ran that stop sign just for fun and I was not being careful at all. The car hit me and pushed me to the right for about 5-7 feet. My body started falling towards the ground as the car continued to push me and I started going under it. Thank the Lord that the car stopped right before my body went under the tires. I was wedged as far back in the car as I could without being under the tires.

Immediately, the driver came running out of the car asking me if I was ok. As she asked me questions I pulled my body out from under the car. I had trouble responding to her. I could only get 2 or 3 words out at a time. I don’t fully understand why I couldn’t talk but I guess it had something to do with the shock. The driver kept asking me questions about how I felt, if I could talk, etc. Some people who lived in a house nearby came out to help. The blonde lady gave me water in a jar and the man called 911. I did not want him to call because I didn’t want to make a huge deal out of it. I wasn’t hurt that bad and I though I might be able to walk away from it.

In what seemed like 15 seconds the police arrived. There were 2 or 3 police cars and they immediately came up to me and started asking questions. The dark skinned lady asked me my name, where I live, my phone number, and if I could remember what happened. I answered all her questions and I was quite proud that I could answer everything without trouble. My body started shaking uncontrollably. The paramedic later told me that it was because I was scared, it was cold outside, and the pavement was sucking the heat from me.

In what seemed like another 30 seconds, the paramedics arrived. They immediately took over the situation. I asked if it was ok for me to stand up but they told me to wait till the buggy came over. I stood up with the help of the man paramedic and sat in the buggy. They pushed me into the ambulance. Inside there, he checked my whole body making sure nothing was broken. The girl paramedic took my blood pressure and pulse. My pulse was 83 or something like that. Once again I felt proud that all my stats were so good. They patched my cuts which I had on my head, hands, hip and knee. The man asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital with them. I told them no because I didn’t want to spend an arm and a leg doing it. I felt healthy enough. I was mostly just sore and my cuts hurt. The police officers came and asked me a couple more questions like how fast the driver was going. I told them 15-20 mph and they kept asking me if I was sure and I told them that there was no way for me to know exactly how fast they were going. They weren’t going faster than normal.

After sitting in the ambulance for a while warming up I decided I felt well enough to leave. I got out, grabbed my broken scooter, and the man asked me if I wanted a ride. I was partially afraid they would charge me for it so I was hesitant. He told me that it was free so I went with them. They took me home and I thanked them for their help. I walked in the house, put my stuff down and took a shower. Most everyone was asleep so it was really dark inside. The shower was pretty painful, but I needed to clean my cuts so I bore the pain. After stepping out of the shower I immediately started feeling nauseous and felt like I needed to vomit. I sat down on the floor and prepared to vomit into the toilet. Nothing came out. I just sat there for a while until I started feeling better. I went into Narf’s room and told him that I just got hit by a car. I told him that I may come in asking him to take me to the hospital in case my head, neck, or back started hurting or if I started vomiting uncontrollably. I went to bed and woke up at 7 in the morning. I went to the bathroom and it was very painful for me to stand. My shins hurt and once again I started feeling nauseous so I prepared to vomit. Nothing came out again, I just got really sweaty. I went back into the living room to lie down and them I slept till 10:30. I was able to continue with the day but I skipped all my classes because it would have been too painful to walk to them. I did spend some time with God and finished a bunch of homework so it was a good day.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Improv Note Writing!!! Oh yeah!! (like anything I write isn't improv)

If you have spent a lot of time with me, you may have noticed how I say, "You know, there's a Seinfeld episode about that." There is a reason I say this phrase so much and I told Diana about it the other day at Soiree, which I'm sure she was fascinated to find out. Seinfeld has many life lessons and you can learn a lot from watching every single episode multiple times like I have.

My dad, my brother, and I are slightly obsessed with the show and frequently quote it or reference how things around us remind us of a Seinfeld episode (and it annoys my mom). Of course, there are lots of quotes that spurr from Seinfeld that are just fun to say like No Soup for You, Serinity Now, I declare this the summer of George, frolf, Hello Jerry-Hello Newman, get out!, etc. But there are all kinds of everyday situations that Seinfeld presents.

Here is my version of 25 Random Things About Me:

1. The first I want to mention is this: Have you ever had a shirt that's precious to you and you've had it for years and years? I have a t-shirt that is from a camp I went to as a freshman in high school I think and it recently got a hole in it in the wash. Believe it or not, ladies and gentlemen, but there is a Seinfeld episode about this. Jerry used to have a shirt which he named Golden Boy that was his favorite t-shirt and after many years of having the shirt, it finally died in the wash and Jerry was devistated.

2. Have you ever had the choice of standing in two lines at the theatre or a concert or something and you stood in line for a long time only to realize that you should have been in the other line to get a ticket? There is also an episode about it.

3. Have you ever had the priviledge of hanging out with old people? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

4. Have you ever had a creeper try to talk to you while on the bus/subway? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

5. Have you ever been frustrated with giving gifts to people on occasions that don't necessarily require gifts? There is a Seinfeld episode about it.

6. Have you ever parked in a handicapped parking spot? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

7. Have you ever lost your car in the parking lot? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

8. Have you ever become obsessed with a certain restaurant? There's a Seinfeld episode.

9. Here's a good one! Have you ever wondered why you get more money for recycling in michigan and wondered if it would be worth it to drive to michigan and make some good money? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

10. Have you ever considered wearing a male bra (called the bro)? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

11. Have you ever done exactly the opposite of everything you would naturally do? There's an episode about it.

12. Have you ever looked into a friend's medicine cabinet? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

13. Have you ever wanted to buy something for a couple dollars but only have a $100 bill? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

14. Have you ever had a flight where you sat next to a beautiful woman and had a great conversation the whole way (or wished that that would happen)? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

15. Have you ever had a horrible flight where both people next to you are annoying and don't let you out to go to the bathroom? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

16. Have you ever bought a non-refundable plane ticket, hoping that you could return it? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

17. Have you ever had a girlfriend who does something really well for a living (like gives massages) and you try to get her to rub your shoulders, but she refuses? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

18. Have you ever licked an envelope? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

19. Have you ever considered changing religions for a woman? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

20. Have you ever found a $10 bill in your pocket that you didn't know was there? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

21. Have you ever wondered what the dentist does while you are unconsious for an operation? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

22. Have you ever seen someone with gigantic man hands, but is a woman? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

23. Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a hand model? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

24. Have you ever been really excited about getting a good parking spot? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

25. Have you ever felt under-dressed at a restaurant? There's a Seinfeld episode about it.

I think that 25 things sufficiently proves my point. I think it's wonderful how Seinfeld has so many everyday situations in it. I've considered writing a book about this and the lessons that Seinfeld teaches, but with the advent of Facebook notes I figured a note would suffice. So next time you are doing anything, just try to remember what Seinfeld episode relates to your current situation. Most likely, you will be able to think of one (assuming you've seen every episode multiple times).

Friday, January 16, 2009

Why is food soo darn good!!!!!!-Where I pose a challenge!!

This morning, I was looking at restaurants on facebook for no good reason and looked at the top restaurants in facebook. Get this, McDonalds has the #1, #3, and #4 positions. If you assume that nobody is in more than one facebook mcdonalds fan club that comes to 1,656,606 fans of McDonalds on Facebook.

I'm sure you have all seen those groups trying to get one million people to join. When I first saw one of those I figured, sure we could build a group with a million people to join, but after time i realized it's more difficult than it sounds. After seeing McDonalds on facebook I now know that it takes a ridiculous amount of time and money to be that popular.

Anyways, on to the real reason I wanted to write this note. Except for a rare few, it seems like nobody actually likes McDonalds (at least is seemed so). My friends and I always chose chipotle or subway over McDonalds unless it's too late for those places (in which case we would choose burger king over mcdonalds). Facebook has shown me that in fact people really do like McDonalds. Even though it's food is greasy, low quality, unhealthy in general, and not that great tasting.

I always thought that McDonalds was just everybody's deep dark secret. I knew that they are the biggest food company in the world so they must be getting their money from somewhere (cuz I try my darndest to avoid going there so I'm definitely not contributing).

Mmmmm grease
In my 21 years of existence I have noticed a few things about food and I shall describe it using this equation:


This can be seen in foods such as gooey butter cakes, cookies, frosting, pizza, hamburgers, french fries, hash browns, creme brulette (sorry kalen for butchering the spelling) as well as my favorite...sugar coated butter sticks. Some people might argue that meat should be included in the equation, but I would argue that you get your happiness from the fat that is in the meat (or other flavoring) and not actually from the meat itself.

I will now explain graphically my theory relating carbs, fat, and salt to happiness. Since I don't know how to graph in 4D I'm going to simplify the equation by ignoring salt, but you can imagine that salt has a similar effect on happiness. Here is the plot relating carbs, fat and happiness:

You can see that happiness increases with increased amounts of carbs and fat. Makes sense huh? The plot does flatten out eventually, which means that Marginal Utility for eating more fat and carbs gets lower with the more food you eat. We have all seen this when we go to our favorite pizza place and after 8 pieces or so it's just not as enjoyable per piece.

Now some of you huge nerds may say, "Wait a second, ArcTan approaches pi/2 as carbs and fat go to infinity. Therefore,true happiness must occur at pi/2 units of utility" To that I would respond, "Ah very astute of you young padwan. That is a good guess, but true happiness actually occurs at 1.4 units of utility" So I challenge you reader if you think that carbs and fat (and salt) can give you true happiness, go ahead and see if you can reach true happiness. Just don't sue me when you get a heart attack.

For those of you who are up to the challenge, I have graphed my happiness plot (orangish) next to the plane of true happiness(blue).

We will assume that the plane of true happiness is at 1.4 units of utility. If you eat equal amounts of carbs and fat (in arbitrary units) you should achieve true happiness at 2.89894 units of carbs and fat.

In my 21 years of existence I have not achieved true happiness by eating so I suspect that I have not eaten 2.89894 units of carbs and fat. Please let me know if you have achieved true happiness by this method for it would give me great joy to see if my theory is true.

As a side note, I believe that if you actually eat good food (not McDonalds), you can approach the plane of true happiness at a faster rate. I am looking for a few adventurous risk takers who would be up to the challenge of comparing good foods like Chipotle to bad foods like McDonalds and seeing which one leads to true happiness in less time.

Happy Eating!