Monday, March 7, 2011

Overweight Monday-The Stomach Stretcher For Fat Tuesday

Only the unprepared Lent celebrator limits the pre-Lent celebrations to Fat Tuesday. So today is a holiday, most commonly celebrated in New Orleans, called Lundi Surpoids. It's helpful for stretching out that stomach in time for Fat Tuesday, more commonly referred to as Mardi Gras. Sadly, my cardboard boat trip to New Orleans will not get me there in time for Lundi Surpoids, which is today, but I can celebrate it here in Denver just as well. And that's what I intend to do!

Anyways, the whole idea behind Mardis Gras and Lundi Surpoids is to over-indulge in any pleasure that you plan to give up for Lent. Some people choose to eat lots of junk food on Lundi Surpoids. The professionals drink gallons of water so that their stomach is stretched for Mardis Gras tomorrow. I've chosen to celebrate Lundi Surpoids by slowly moving away from Facebook. I know Mark Zuckerberg's biggest pet peeve is people giving up Facebook for Lent, but he'll just have to get over it.

I am an addict of a few things. The first is coffee. I get headaches if I go a day without coffee. Every day I drink coffee my body gets more and more dependent on caffeine. I even tried a 5 hour energy for the first time yesterday. It had a Nyquil-like effect on me. I honestly don't care about my coffee addiction though because I thoroughly enjoy drinking coffee.

I am also addicted to Facebook. It's horrible. I spend way too much time looking at people's Facebook pages and checking my News Feed for new updates. It's 90% a waste of time and I actually only slightly enjoy Facebooking.

So I'm giving up Facebook for Lent. It's going to be great. According to my calculations, over the entire Lent season, I will gain approximately 23 hours of time to do whatever I want! I could ride 345 extra miles on my bike! I could earn hundreds of dollars! I could sleep for 23 hours! I could read a book! I could do two Lord of The Rings marathons! I could walk to Colorado Springs! I could drive to Las Vegas and back! I could fly around the world! Heck, I could go into orbit!

Boy, I'm gonna miss Facebook when I'm orbiting planet Earth.


  1. So I guess we will communicate with you by blog?

  2. Telephones probably work better

  3. Hahahaha I love this. I soooo appreciate that you don't care about your coffee addiction, because I don't care about mine either but that doesn't stop people from telling me I need to give it up.